Category: the Rant Board
Hi all,
I just thought I would touch on a few things, and I want everyone to know that it has nothing to do with any of you on here. I am really annoyed with a certain someone who keeps treating me bad. Everyone says she jealous of me, but whats there to be jealous of? She gets mad at me because I make higher marks than her, and have more friends and such. I try to help her, but all she does is get mad. I also have friends who just walk all over me, and I am just getting so sick of it. Does any other people on here ever feel used? Like, when ever people are bored, they talk to you, but when there other friends are around they ignore you? Or, if you ask them if u can go somewhere with them, and they say no, because there is no room in their car, but the next day, u hear that they took someone else with them. When you confront them about it, they just say "it would have been too difficult for you, the music was loud, or, u wouldn;t have had any fun." Or, when ever you go to a place with people and they completely ignore you,and don't listen to what you have to say? I don't mean to complain, I was just wondering if other blind/vi people get this, or even some sighted. It just sucks cuz I am tired of being used, and am now trying to stand up for myself, and people just think I'm a bitch or something. Anyway, enough of my ranting for now. Feed back please anyone?
Hi japanimangel,
Well, I don't get out and about enough to be ignored much in person, but yeah I get ignored a lot on the internet. I feel a lot of times people aren't interested in what I'm saying, but sometimes I say it anyway. And as for being called the b word, well when I was on accessible chat, that was a couple of people's favorite word for me. There's nothing wrong with getting good marks in school. You're lucky to be able to get them, and it will do you good in the long run. As for complaining, everybody needs to do that sometimes.I think on the internet, being ignored is just part of the cliquishness that exists almost everywhere. Hope that helps in some way. You just do the best you can, take care, and stay sweet.
wonderwoman
Hey Jen. I have had that feeling before, to soem extent. From what you're describing, it sounds like you don't need friends like this in your life. Who needs friends like that when you could have enemies? Anyway, keep standing up for yourself. you'll find you'll feel better in the long run when you no longer have to be treated that way.
I kind of know how you feel; I honestly feel like that with my brothers. They go out with friends or are invited out somewhere, even by other relatives, and I either didn't know anything about it until afterward or I don't even seem to be considered to invite out. I know sometimes it's because they go to other friends' houses or and stuff, but when it's something like going out to eat or walking/jogging, there's no reason why they can't invite me. It's not like my brothers are asking to go with them, they just say "Come on, let's go here" or my mom tells them that they were invited somewhere. When I asked one of my brothers why he never takes me anywhere, he says that I wouldn't be able to participate and/or enjoy it. And my other brother says that I have to earn my friends by getting out more. I somewhat see where he's coming from, but how can I get out more if I hardly know where anything is in the first place, and I'm already shy too. To me, it's hard to find ways to relate to others, like just striking up a conversation out of nowhere and knowing what to say in person. So, I've just gotten used to spending most of my time alone and I do spend time with a certain few relatives because I guess they feel comfortable around me. *smiles* Well, this is getting to be a long post I think, so I'll stop here. *smiles*
Leilani
hey guys,
Thanks so much for your feedback. I've just been struggling with this whole thing lately, trying to fit in at uni and such, and sometimes, it just gets to me. I'm glad to know that there are people who feel the same as I do. I'm still curious to others thoughts, so keep writing in here lol! Thanks for calling me sweet wonder woman, and trust me, there are cliques everywhere, I hate them!
I know this isn't exactly popular, but I've found if you don't want to get stepped on you have to be an asshole. It's true nice guys finish last, and if your assertive people won't ignore you.
true, but you can still be assertive with out being an ass. It's called standing up for yourself
Maybe this person has a really low opinion of herself and is hiding it by being a bitch,she may feel intimidated by your blindness and this ACT is her way of dealing with her inadequacy. Iv'e come across this many times and often its a lack of self esteem which is to blame for the pretence,but in saying that tolerating this kind of behaviour is extremely difficult................................
Personally I'd stay out of their way if at all possible, also tell yourself that they don't deserve your company and you are a far better person than they could ever hope to be because your coping with a disability and that takes far more nerve and maturity than they seem to have.
Hi all. I have never had friends. Only one really up until a few months ago. Feeling excepted for how I am has always been a dream of mine. Its why I like HKNC SO much. I'm not looking foward to leaving anytime soon.
Then will I be back w where I was again? Alone? John
Fitting in at any school with a disability isn't easy. You just gotta be productive, have a positive outlook on your life, your disability and enjoy yourself. Try to be polite, try to be assertive and stand up for yourself. Don't be rude or cruel and be respectful as in time, giving it time people will start to warm up to you. I mean when I started training in August I wasn't expecting friends out of this because I knew chances of finding people in my age group wasn't gonna happen. When I walked away with 2 good friends out of it, then a few months later another aqaintance of mine way back in the spring/early summer just started emailing me and we're good friends now. So maybe it might not happen now but maybe later. I always attend socials or gatherings at the campus/groups whenever possible. Maybe ask your advisor if there's a online campus newsletter that you can get in a email or a email that will tell you of all socials and events and pick whats of interest to you and then go with the flow. Sometimes you gotta break away from your shyness and just start talking. Yes I too can be shy, we all can at some point. But the only way you can make friends and get to know them is by saying "Hi, I'm so and so." Like if you attend a club make your case known that your disability matters but you can be just as normal and trust me on this if you have a positive outgoing energetic outlook and leave the shyness and problems at home it will happen. You will make friends and you will get out more. So when people invite me to social events I jump for it and go EVEN though there are going to be few people my age/age group but the people who ivnited me will be there and I know I'll have someone to talk to and a chance to get away from home life and socialise with others.
Well, here's my take on it. It sounds like your one jealous friend might have some self-esteem things going on, but not really sure. As to your other friends who seem to ignore you, I've been there and that didn't happen only in school. I wonder if it's a blind/sighted thing, as in these people are not comfortable with your being blind or are just not aware of your interests and your capabilities? I have this idea, which may be just a crackpot theory, that many sighted people just assume blind people just can't relate or take an interest in the same things sighted people do. This sucks bigtime. It sounds like these people are making excuses because they just don't know how to treat you or act around you yet or assume they would have to help you with everything and think that would slow them down or take away from their fun. That kind of thing hurts, believe me, and it's worse if you're shy and intraverted like me. I'm not sure if being outgoing or having a positive attitude is the key, and there may be no key or magic formula. Yes, it's evil and nasty and selfish on their part, but I'm not sure how well they would take to some education. Try it anyhow.
Yeah I had that problem with family. The lets invite one person who has sight and not the blink of the family. And they'd make excuses and they just thought I was different from everyone else. But they just go off and well it's over my shoulder it doesn't bother me. I just don't talk to them, I only now talk to family who'll actually consider me as someone with a disability to do stuff like going for a drive, shopping, going out to eat and understand I can get along and if I need assistance then I'll ask. But those few that consider me as normal as they are really are the mature ones. Some people just don't know how to talk and ask questions. But hey it happens. No biggy on my part I just try to live my life and my RP is apart of my life and people adjust to it in time.
Keggers rule, you make a lot of friends, even though you don't remember any of them the next day.
Well, some of us seem to be so sad that we actually need to get other people drunk to be friends with them, even so drunk that they don't remember it the next day. Now what does that say about a person, I wonder ...
I know how it feels to be ignored. It sucks. And one of the main reasons Im hated is for the stupidest reason. It's because when i walk down the halls, people are just standing in my way and they dont feel like moving out of my way, so i often accidentally tap them with my cane...Its not deliberate or nothing and its certainly not that hard,but these people act like i just whacked them upside the head with the damn thing...or theres the other extreme, where someone will be standing there and they see me coming and will be all like, "watch out for the blind girl!" Then i feel everyones eyes on me for like 5 minutes until i can get away.
i have gotten into trouble on several occassions for supposedly purposely hitting people with my cane...and so people hate me.
they also tend to think that im no fun cuz i cant see. they believe that i cant do normal things with them.
dont get me wrong--i dont feel sorry for myself in the slightest bit (I've been blind since birth and have never known anything else.)
Well, thats my story,hope you like it and it makes you aware your not alone.
You must not understand sarcasm. I've never gotten drunk e nough to black out, and sometimes it's nice to be buzzed, and have more fun as long as you can still take control if the situation demands it.
no, it's you who doesn't understand sarcasm. he understands it perfectly well...
Although I have friends of all ages I'd rather hang out and go to gatherings that have people around my age only. I think it makes it funner that way. I don't want to be around a bunch of oldies because the majority of them don't share the same interests as I do.
Troy
well, about schools, I mostly had schooling taught at home by home bound teachers, but I've had schooling in a variety of ways. I was in a one room public school room for a while, this man homebound teacher talked us in to it. There were 5 other boys in the class, and I was the only girl, and the other boys picked on me. I was about 12 or 13, and there was one other boy who was the same age as me, and the older boys picked on him too. They were 17 and 18 years old. I didn't want to be friends with them, I just wanted them to leave me alone. One of them poured salt on the history book I was reading. They were just smart alecs, and I talked back to them. One day when I went in to class, I noticed they had stopped picking on me, and later I found out from a cousin of my moms' who was in the class, that the teacher had told them to lay their mouth off of me. School in a public room that way can be really rough.
wonderwoman
hi guys,
All of your words really do help me. I have friends and stuff, its just that I feel like I have to try super hard to keep them. This other girl that I was talking about is also blind, and therefore I can't understand her jealousy. I am nothing to be jealous of, I am just an average boring girl lol! She doesn't have many friends, and I worry for her, but when ever I try to help her make friends, she just gets upset with me. Maybe you are all right, and I should just ignore her, but I am so damn soft and sweet that I can't do it. I worry too much about peoples feelings, because I've had mine hurt so many times. Blindguy, you're right, there is nothing wrong with being buzzed a little, as long as you don't like get drunk every day. I really apreciate everyone's words. You guys are so nice, and it made me realize that I am not alone even though sometimes I feel like it. Talk to ya all laters!
Hi All, Well I have some friends who are great, and then I have some who just hang out with me or call me when they're bored or when they have nothign else to do. And when theyr'e around their other friends and I'm there, they ignore me. I hate that. But luckily I have some friends who I really enjoy and who don't treat me this way. But I agree that sometimes it's hard to fit in and that people can be very rude and not include us blindies all the time. SO my advice is just hang in there, choose your friends wisely and just tell those jealous, non-including people that you are on to them and don't like it! Lol! Best of luck!
Caitlin
Also wanted to add, Nibblet17 I totally feel your pain. I've been in high school for only three months, just about, and I've already broken one cane because people just don't move out of my way when I'm trekking halfway across the school to get to my next class! Or else they try and jump over it or trip really hard and break their necks lol! Or scream, "Ouwhwhwhwhwhhww!!!!", when I haerdly touched them! Haha... But yeah. Luckily for me, nobody hates me for it. I think when that next happens to you you should yell, "Sorry!!!!", really loud. I bet that'll embarrass everyone hehehe. I mean everyone who's staring at you.
And Japanimangel, don't let that jealous friend get you down. Your'e the bigger and nicer person! Heehee!...
Also wanted to add, Nibblet17 I totally feel your pain. I've been in high school for only three months, just about, and I've already broken one cane because people just don't move out of my way when I'm trekking halfway across the school to get to my next class! Or else they try and jump over it or trip really hard and break their necks lol! Or scream, "Ouwhwhwhwhwhhww!!!!", when I haerdly touched them! Haha... But yeah. Luckily for me, nobody hates me for it. I think when that next happens to you you should yell, "Sorry!!!!", really loud. I bet that'll embarrass everyone hehehe. I mean everyone who's staring at you.
And Japanimangel, don't let that jealous friend get you down. Your'e the bigger and nicer person! Heehee!...
Maybe he will learn when one of his "friends" dies from alcohol poisoning.Ive seen it and they go downhill very quickly.
Maybe he will learn when one of his "friends" dies from alcohol poisoning.Ive seen it and they go downhill very quickly.
hahaha nice posts katlynn and gobblin, it's true! Anyway I also forgot to mention the cane thing before to. Niblit, I understand, but if they don't move for you, then just hit m anyway. They'll get the point eventually. Or take kattlynn's advice and yell sorry loud! That would be halarious. If ya do it, u will deffinitly have to post the outcome!
Yeah, lol! I wanna know how this'll turn out, if you do anything, Nibblet!
Caitlin
Niblet you might ignore this but hell here goes.
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Chlaaenge these over sensitive numpties to walk 200 yrds down a crowded hallway wearing blacked out glasses and using a cane, with no help what so ever! Then they might just be more tolerant if not,well at least you gave them a taste of your daily life.
thats a wicked idea to! Sometimes that actually works to!
Lol. I liek the idea. ...
Caitlin
Me too..lol